Send your own ElfYourself eCards

in your head, in your head.

zombie. zombie. zombie. zombie. zombie.

zombie. zombie. zombie. zombie. zombie.

zombie. zombie. zombie. zombie. zombie.

close my eyes.

Lately I feel like I can't stand her anymore.
So much hatred wells up inside of me.
She's family, though. Are you to hate family?

Maybe I'm right, or wrong, or just ignorant.
I know what I'm feeling though.

and this is how I feel.
- Sarah

murdered by a circus freak?

During the summer, my biffle and I met this guy via MySpace. He seemed to be pretty cool and all that crap, and we started to talk on AIM and such. She talked to him far more than I did, but then I slowly began talking to him as well. The conversations escalated to the exchanged of cell phone numbers and we began texting. Stroder's really fun, and cool to talk to.

So, we decided to hang out. Last night we met at Las Margaritas (NOM!) and had dinner (except he didn't eat). After that we spent the remainder of the evening hopping from Hastings to Wal-Mart, and the like, and then we separated. It was honestly a lot more fun than it sounds. I'm always nervous about meeting people, so I'm glad it went over well.

I don't really have a lot to say, I just wanted to update.
Uhm... Later. (:
(this update was pointless.)

i find it kind of funny.

Tonight I went to St. Louis. I saw Adam Lambert live.

He did the pelvic thrust. A lot.



The end.
- Sarah.

tonight's gonna be a good night... ?

So, last night me and a few of my friends decided to go eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant where we also have some of our... favorite Mexicans. Jonathan and Sergio have been my friends for several months, and we always like going to visit them at work. However, due to the situation that happened last Friday, it was very awkward. Jonathan didn't hardly look at any of us, and wouldn't really talk to anybody, not even me, and we talk, in Spanish, all the time.

I texted him, because I wanted to make sure he didn't hate me. His messages were all very abrupt, 'leave me alone' 'goodbye', and the like. There were even a few curse words wedged in there. After that, I found out that one of my friends screwed him last Friday. Oh, this just keeps getting better, right? Wrong. I tried to talk to him about it, and he denied it.

It was weird for me, and now I hate that since this happened, he doesn't want to hang out with me or even see me, because the situation is strange. Last night, me and Tiffany rolled in at about midnight, and went to bed at like one. At two, I received a phone call. I went to look at my phone and it was from Jonathan. I ignored it. He called back. I ignored it, and then he called Tiffany.

And after several, "No, Jonathan, I can't come to your house, its too late," and many, "You are my friend, Sorry, Jonathan. It's thirty-five minutes away. I'm in bed. I can't,"s, he finally gave in and hung up. Then he called me... again. I ignored it, twice, and then he sent me a blank text message. And this is how that part of the conversation went.

Sarah: DORMIENDO! (I'm sleeping!)
Jonathan: Quiero sexo. (I want sex.)
Sarah: Se. En mi cama, y muy cansada, Jonathan. (I know, I'm in bed and very sleepy.)
Jonathan: Quiero sexo. (I want sex.)
Sarah: No sexo este noche. Lo siento. Adios. (No sex tonight, sorry, goodbye.)
Jonathan: Quero sexo con Friend #2*. (I want to have sex with _______.)
Sarah: Friend #2 es no aqui. Adios. (_______ is not here, goodnight.)
Jonathan: Quiero el numero de Friend #2. (I want ______'s phone number.)
Sarah: No me importa. Buenos noches y adios. (I don't care, goodnight and goodbye.)
Jonathan: Puja quiero cojer. ('I'm up', I wan't to f*ck.)
Sarah: No me importa. Basta. Adios. (I don't care. Enough! Goodnight.)
Jonathan: Ok, bebe. (Okay, baby.)

And that was the conversation. I rolled over and passed out. When I woke up, me and Tiffany cuddled and talked about the ridiculousness of our drunken Mexican friends. There was more to the story about me and Sergio, but that can wait for another day.

Later, everyone.

(*I don't really wanna give away any names, not that he knows her name...)

sing 'cause its obvious.

I don't sing. I don't do many things. But there are many things that I do, and not all of them are good... as I have learned. Sometimes, I hate myself so much that I just curl up into a ball and cry. I can never talk to anyone about it, because its pathetic, right? I try not to have any pity for myself. And just when I think I'm stabilized, it happens again and I burst into tears. Jealousy, and loneliness fill me, almost always.

I love my best friend. I know that I've probably ruined her life. I just wish that I could be a better person. I wish that I wasn't so sensitive. I wish that right now, as I write this, that I wasn't crying. Because that makes me who I am, and that part of who I am, I hate. It's the bad part of me, its the part that nobody wants to be around, the part that makes me have so few friends.I'm a bitch, I get it. I'm the weird kid, the one who listens to the bands that wear eyeliner, and who spends most of her time on the computer, designing stuff or talking to people that she's never met face-to-face, because other than her best friend, that's all she has.

I'm annoying and young, and maybe that's also a factor. I get it, now more than ever, that I'm just a 'baby'. I've heard the word 'baby' so many times in the past few months, that if I had a dollar, or maybe even a quarter for every time, I would be a rich girl. I hate being this 'baby' but I realize that I am kind of a baby, however that's not what they all mean by it.

I like to take pictures, I love photography. I like to express my emotions through photography. The picture above, I was feeling similar to how I'm feeling right now, so it was kind of appropriate to post it... I guess
.There is so much self-hate going through my body right now. Why am I like this? I don't want to be like this. I want to be better for myself and for my friend(s). I know at some point, she will read this. And that's fine, because it's not entirely her fault that I'm upset. Just know this... I love you.

That's it, because I don't want to say anything more.

i think that maybe, quite possibly, i've fallen for you.

Tiffany found this a few days ago, and then everyone else discovered it. It's pretty amazing and hilarious. I'm on Team Buffy all the way. Screw the Team Edward or Team Jacob shirts, how about Team Buffy for people who don't really even like the entire Twilight 'saga'?

Anyway, here's the clip that she found. It's quite humorous. I enjoyed it very much in all of its six minute glory. Check it out and leave comments. (:

That's it, everyone!
Peace out. <3 Sarah

viva la vie boheme!

Last night I finally got to see RENT: THE BROADWAY TOUR with two of the original cast members, Mark (Anthony Rapp) and Roger (Adam Pascal). It was amazing, so amazing that I shed a few tears at the end because it was so amazing. I was so happy that I got to see the production with two of the original members, and two of the main members, since Mark and Roger are quite big roles, obviously, in RENT.

La Vie Boheme is my favorite song from the musical, and it was worth the ticket price just to see them perform that song live. They definitely did not disappoint, and the Broadway performance is much more humorous than the movie is, but in different ways. Angel was fantastic, as was Collins. I can't think of one time where the cast disappointed me. It was so fantastic.



Mimi did amazing at everything, and she made it funnier than it was, as well with her relationship with Roger. Above is a clip from one of her introduction songs. Below is a clip of my favorite song, La Vie Boheme.


I hope that someday you could see something as amazing as this. It's my second time at the Fabulous Fox Theatre in St. Louis, following Sweeney Todd which I saw in November. Even if you can't make it to the theatre to see it, at least check out the movie!

That's all for now.
Later, guys.
<3 Sarah

a box of sharp objects.

So, today my niece came over because my younger sister is watching her this evening, and somehow, we got on the subject of babies. My niece, a four year old, decided to enlighten me with how women get pregnant and how they get a baby from being pregnant. Here's what she said.

"A birdy flies through the air and lands on a mommy, putting something in her mouth. It kind of looks like a cough drop. Anyways, the cough drop goes into her tummy and forms a baby, and after a while, the mommy has to go see the doctor and he cuts her belly open and there you have it, a baby."

I laughed. A lot.
... a cough drop? WTF?

Anyways, on a different note, I found something on Twitter today. It was aimed at "Bible Thumpers". And while I might be a Christian, I support Gay Marriage. This video was pretty amazing. I love it, and I give it five stars. Check it out below.

Have a safe weekend, everyone.

the highlights of pointfest.

Alright, since I have now experienced Pointfest, I guess that gives me the liability to talk about it, huh? So, Saturday morning, we headed out to Maryland Heights at about six in the morning, and arrived at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater at about 9:15 A.M. We instantly got in line, and left the sunscreen in the car. That part was a mistake, but oh well. I wasn't really that worried about it.

After taking a seat on the comfortable hill, we enjoyed the weather for what seemed like only seconds. The sun erupted from the clouds and the breeze disappeared, leaving it hot and sweaty and gross. The venue began to fill up with people and by lunchtime it was buzzing with tons of people.Tiffany and I grew thirsty, so we set off to find something to drink and found this little Tiki place that sold smoothies. We got a strawberry smoothie that cost an entire $9.00, too much for a smoothie. We found some shade in the intersection of a fence and a building that sold beer. We sat in the shade, enjoying it very much. While we sat there and enjoyed our smoothie, we began to people-watch. There were men in kilts, pregnant women, and tons of people with their shirts rolled up into their bras, which, my friends, is NOT, in fashion.

This group of kids came by and asked to sit beside us. We let them. The boy who was there and named Zach, cracked a few jokes and asked everyone where they got their shirts at. A quote from the infamous person himself, "If I would have known that 'ho' was in style, I would've had my boobies hanging out when I arrived. Here, gotta do it so I can fit in." They were fun.

They left to find food, and we were alone again. Just as we started people-watching again, this very.. very... amazingly hot person walked by in a vest and a long-sleeved shirt and dark jeans with laminants on his belt. Tiffany said, "That guy is so hot. He looks like Adam." And I confirmed, "It probably was Adam, because he had laminants on his belt-loop." Later that day, we realized it had been Adam and hated ourselves for not saying anything to him.

After enjoying our shade, Chelsea came along and then we got up and set off to find something to drink for her, getting ourselves another smoothie. We walked around a little bit and took a seat on a different side of the hill because the main part was already packed. We laid there for a little while, and then got up to go get in the pit for Shiny Toy Guns. Turns out, it was too hot for my friends, so we left the pit, and went to get some lemonade. We weren't exactly up for any food because of the temperature. We found a spot to sit, and talked to these girls about One Tree Hill before we realized that they were allowing people to be seated at the main stage.

So, we went to our seats and sat for a few hours before The Used began playing, and when they started... damn. I had fun. They were so good, and Jepha had to scream for Bert, because I guess Bert didn't want his voice to get all jacked up, or he just wasn't feeling up to it. We did the wave... backwards by request of the band, and it was a lot of fun.

After that, we enjoyed the Sick Puppies and their sexual innuendos. They were quite funny and very adorable and Australian. "You remember those girls, the ones you just wanted to grab by the back of her dark hair, undo your belt and shove her against a car, and tell her to..." After that they broke into "Say My Name". It was quite amazing. They altered the sound and the lyrics... just a little.

Then it was Taking Back Sunday. Oh. My. God. They were definitely the best performance of the day. When Adam told me to clap-- I clapped. He was acting as a colored woman from the South, and it made it quite funny. He did absolutely amazing and the song choices were great as well. He was very interactive with the crowd, and he made me feel right at home even though I was several seats away... not in the pit.

"Oh shit! I'm on TV!" And then... "Sorry, guys, I've been cussing a lot. My momma raised me better that." "I like you guys, you are real cool. You have tattoos. I have tattoos, too. You ain't even listenin' to me!" "Some of you are probably saying, 'FAGGOT!' Well guess what, this 'faggot' has the microphoneeee." It was amazingly fun. And Adam is amazingly yummy.

We darted after that. Got a couple free Monsters and a free CD on our way out and find the car after a long time, and then headed home. Woke up looking quite red, and Tiffany like a lobster. It was worth it. Can't wait to see Taking Back Sunday again... but in a pit. God, that sounds so fun.

That's it, my hands hurt.
Later. <3

sick and tired.

I'm so ready for school to be over that it pains me to get up and go every day. This week, I thought would be fine. I thought it would go by quickly, and that it would be all right because everyone would have loosened up and nobody will give me crap. Low and behold I was entirely incorrect. Like more than just entirely. I was in such a good mood all day. Honestly. A good mood. And then it was time for English. And, sure I may be a little on the inadequate side because I don't have my driver's license yet, but having one doesn't make you "cool". Seriously.

This morning, my sister (who is younger and drives) and I stopped at the convenience store to get something to drink. I saw my English teacher, Mrs. Johnson, there. She said hello, and I didn't think much of it... until class. Here's how it went.

"I saw that your sister chauffeurs you around now." - Mrs. Johnson.
"No, we just ride to school together." - Me.
"Yeah, but she drives." - Mrs. Johnson.
"And Sarah doesn't drive." - Student 1
"Why don't you drive? You're almost eighteen." - Student 2.
"Yeah, almost eighteen and doesn't have her license." - Student 3.
" You should really get your license." - Student 4.
"I wish you guys would stop making fun of me and be quiet, because you honestly don't know how much crap I get for not having my license yet. Seriously." - Me.
"I wasn't making fun of you." - Mrs. Johnson.
"I was!" - Student 2.
*students one through four continue to glare at me as I sit and tear up.*

These are the people who make high school hateworthy. "Oh, 'its the best time of your life'." It sure as hell isn't the best time of my life. God, why cant I be older? And the thing is, that in my English class, there were four other students without their licenses, but they picked on who? --- me. And the teacher just egged it on.
Not only was that terrible, but after I got home I discovered that my sister locked my cat in her bedroom, and what do you expect a cat to do when it has no litter box? She peed on her bed and crapped in her floor. I said it was her fault, and after about half an hour of yelling and arguing, I ended up cleaning it up, but definitely making sure to leave a little something behind... on her air vent.

Right now I'm installing The Sims 3. I'm going to go relax. Stress isn't good on the pores.

Later, everyone.

and not all memories are bad.

As this year of high school comes to a close, I realize how close I am to graduating from high school altogether. And I still am excited even though it seems very strange that in a year from right now I will be independent and on my own. It's exciting, very, very exciting.

Lately, I have also been thinking about my friends that are graduating. I don't have too many that are going out this year, just a handful or so, but still, those friends are very important to me, and they make me treasure my memories with them throughout the year. Like how Jared used to walk me to class after fifth period, or how Tyler always hugged me at the beginning of lunch, or even how Kegan always joked around with me in English. Those times were very memorable of my year this year in high school, and those three people will let me remember this year for a long time. Just because they were there.

Of course I have several other friends (and even ones I don't go to school with), but these kids have made high school better. I'm one of those kids who hates going, but goes anyways just to get it over with, and while there, these boys have improved my mood. Of course there are a few girls in there who make things worthwhile, such as my friend Tiffany K. and Bethany. I've known Bethany my whole life, and Tiffany, while a new friend, is a good one. She's fun and I'm actually doing a shoot with her on Saturday morning for graduation pictures.


They're going to be gone next year and I will be the superior of the school, and quite frankly, I'm ready for that. Everyday I wish that high school would be over with, I just don't want my future to fly by as quickly. I know that high school is 'preparing me' for whatever else happens to me later on, but it gets very tiring and very boring after a while.

Nonetheless, this year at school was a fairly good one. My classes weren't as difficult as I expected them to be, and math was a good challenge, but I beat it and definitely passed. With that, I end this post by saying that it was worth it this year. I made more friends and grew so much closer to the others that I already had.

I guess that's all.

pointfest twenty-four.

Okay, this is the twenty-fourth Pointfest that will be held in Maryland Heights near St. Louis, Missouri on May 23rd. Needless to say that I am incredibly psyched! At first I wasn't so excited, but then I realized that Pointfest is all day long, and I want to see like five or six of the bands playing. Not to mention that the ones I don't want to see, that will be there, are pretty big bands right now, as well. Last year, around this time, I attended a My Chemical Romance show at The Pageant in a Jewish community of St. Louis. It was the most amazing show. Drive By was fantastic and Billy Talent was so awesome. They even yelled at the bunch for not picking up a girl that had fallen.

On the 23rd, my friends Tiffany and Chelsea, and myself will get up rather early and head to St. Louis for an IHOP breakfast and then to the venue. We've got seats (thank god), but will probably be in the pit a lot... if we can. I just found out, though, that two bands that I want to see are playing on the main stage even though I was told they were going to be on the side stage. That's amazing, because that way I won't have to worry about missing one of them.

The bands on the main stage are going to be: The Offspring, Blue October, The Used (<3), Ludo (<3), and Taking Back Sunday (<3). It's going to be fantastic. On the side stage there are a few bands, like The Sick Puppies, and Shiny Toy Guns that I want to see, but not the majority of them. Right now, though, I'm just dying to get to a show again. I can't wait to have that feeling of being... carefree? And seeing someone I adore and rocking out to their music. Like Gerard Way, I just wanna... rock.

My summer is jam-packed with things to do. I'm going to Pointfest, then to see a broadway performance of RENT (featuring two cast members, Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp, from the actual musical movie), and following that I'll be going to see Taking Back Sunday in Little Rock, AR. After those, I'm seeing Casting Crowns locally, and then Gogol Bordello in July with American Idols on Tour Live in August.

Sounds pretty fly, right?
What are your summer plans?

open up a little happiness today.

oh, really, innocence?

Today the sophomore class decided it would be humorous to go out and purchase one thousand bouncy balls and let them loose in the C-Building hallway. The juniors thought that they were doing it tomorrow and planned to rape them of all of their bouncy balls, but they didn't. They did it between fourth and fifth hours, making the teachers in the hallway entirely furious. The idiots didn't realize that there are camera's in the hallway and the cameras caught almost every student who took place in it and they all got two days of detention after school. Idiots.

On another note, my Spanish teacher has literally gone nuts. Today she told us about getting mammogram. I don't want to hear about her boobs being felt up by a machine. Ew.

Right now, I'm chatting to a few people on AIM, and getting dressed to go eat Strawberry's. Yum. From what I can remember, they have some of the best food of all time. It's been a while since I've been though, and I haven't had it catered to me in over a year. I hope its as good as I want it to be because I'd hate to be disappointed.

That's all for now.
What are your plans tonight?

i just wanna color outside the lines.

I just want to give a quick shout-out to my friend, Sarah Dope.
She's an awesome and incredibly talented person, and she's enjoying a great Hawaiian vacation.

Check out her blog by clicking on the image (that she took!) below. :)



That's it, guys.
Have a good night, and Happy Mother's Day!

tick, tock. you're not a clock.

Today is Mother's Day, Dia de Madres, and I spent it with my mother at church. Afterwards, we had a nice little picnic at the local lake, and such. I didn't eat much, but the dessert was amazing. Afterward, my friend Josh came over, and we watched Mr. Deeds, but he left kind of earlier than he was hoping to. I was, in a sense, relieved, because things got a little out of hand. That's all I'll say about that.

The picnic was quite fun though, well, for the most part. My sisters were there, as were my niece and nephew. I love those kids, but they can be quite stressful. Oh, for Mother's Day, I made my mom and my sister something of the kids. They loved it, and I worked quite hard on it so I'm glad they liked it.


I thought it turned out nicely. Nonetheless, it was what they got.
I hope everyone had a happy Mother's Day! :)